exams. idle. dinner?

its exams period. about 10 days away. i always feel idle when i am having exams. such a contradictory feeling, not because im overly smart, that i dont need much revision or im idle cos i refuse to do my revision (in fact its the opposite). just that there's this bored;idle;sien; whatever-you-wanna-call-it feeling.

and as a sidekick to idle feeling, its really excruciating everytime it reaches dinner, when i have to decide what to eat. lunch is ok most of the time cos BY DEFAULT i'll be eating in sch (YUCKS!). and this i-hate-to-randomly-choose-my-dinner feeling weighs heavier on me during times like this. so sometimes i would ask my friends to have dinner with me, so that the company will lessen my pain on my taste buds and the emotional aftermath that comes. but oh well, i have busy friends and housemates.

maybe its some kind of pre-exam trauma. haha.. or im just weird. but hey, try not to eat at your home for almost 6 full years (i discounted the holidays periods when i go back ipoh), after that, you can qualify to call me picky. hehe..

anyways thru this i realise that i have a short attention span (which i know since young), and i hate to be idle. Oh, and i hate to be indoors for a long period of time (esp in my residence), it'll drive me crazy.

sprained my ankle on tuesday. pains me to walk down that 4 flight of stairs to get lunch or dinner everytime. of course it is the emotional claustraphobia to stay in my residence for more than a certain number of hours that will scath me more. i became so bored from revising and doodling on the laptop that i tried to sleep, but just staring at the darkness and not falling into sleep, then i realise something.

so every night when you lie on your bed and stare at the back of your eyelids, when all you see is darkness, when you turn your body and find a good position to slumber, take a moment to realise again that you can see and walk freely, to enjoy the sight and to travel to anywhere physically pain-free. take a second moment to imagine how would it feel like if you can't see and walk.

then.


Rejoice and Thank God. because He is good to you.